ON HIS COMEDY PARTNER HUGH LAURIE IN "HOUSE" One of the hardest things to do is act smart. But you actually believe that he is intelligent (2006)
ASKED BY HIS SCHOOL CAREERS OFFICER WHAT JOB HE ENVISAGED FOR HIMSELF School Careers Officer (1973)
ON TECHNOLOGY I have never had fewer than 10 working Macs on the go since the late 80s (2007)
TO AN INTERVIEWER ON TV-AM Not wishing – in any way – to correct you, but it is pronounced Worcester, not Wooster… in the same way that it's Woodhouse not Wodehouse (1992)
ON LIVING IN SWAFFHAM IN NORFOLK You see it all. You see your hoody pikey chavvies, you see your happy-slapping. But it's leavened by a bit of fluffy Englishness and damp tweed. It's just what it should be (2007)
ON CONVERSATION AT CRICKET MATCHES You don't get people going round saying: "Did it work for you?" and "It seems to me there's a sense in which…", like those awful scum on late-night BBC2 shows (1999)
ON TECHNICAL PROBLEMS My life is a shattered bowl of arse (2009)
HOSTING A CHARITY EVENT As the Archbishop of Canterbury lik