Joe Jackson: dick, obviously. That Slumdog Millionaire kid, the theory: huge wang. Levi Johnston: famously awaited dong. Jon Gosselin, dickfore. King Bloomberg? You tell me. Paula Abdul, Fergie, Josh Duhamel, Adam Duritz, DMX. Presenting your Dicktacular Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

This is silly.

• Complete fucking shriveled dick Joe Jackson wants the Michael Jackson estate to pay him serious bones. He wants over $15,000 a month to keep being given awards and honored for raising a kid who turned out to be Michael Jackson, and by that, I mean, beating the shit out of his kids. Joe Jackson makes Jon Gosselin look like Dr. Spock. [NYDN]
  
  
• Hell hath no fury like a Fergie scorned, as Josh Duhamel's about to find out. He took a stripper back to a hotel room and had a bunch of crazy sex and watched porn and now he's in trouble. IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY TAKE YO BROKE! ASS! HOME! Sorry, it's the only part of a Fergie song I know. Also, Josh Duhamel, you trashy dick. [NYDN]
  
  
• Aw. The lead item in Page Six today is a curiously warmhearted item about Slumdog Millionai