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The stepmothers' survival guide

Source: The Guardian

Oct 31, 2009

Summary

A reluctant stepdaughter herself, Cristina Odone was determined not to force a good relationship with her stepsons. But what was the alternative in a modern-day fractured family?

'You're not my mum!" I wanted to scream whenever my stepmother told me off for showering late at night, talking too long on the phone, or coming back late from a party. I, a stroppy teenager, sometimes spent the weekends at my dad's – my brother and I lived with Mum – and inevitably Michaela would criticise something I did, triggering long sulks, if not outright rows. I saw myself cast as Cinderella; just as when we'd been younger, my brother and I had identified with Hansel and Gretel. We were lost in a scary wood, where grown-ups grew distant, our home changed irrevocably, and an unfamiliar figure lurked.

Stepmothers are the stuff of fairy tales and, increasingly, of contemporary life: one in three of us is involved in a step-family situation.

It can make for tricky terrain. Flesh and blood ties may not temper outbursts, or soften criticism – but introduce a "step" into the equation a

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