The Way We Live Now: Doing everything we can to get your unemployed ass back on your feet. Don't blame "The System" if you can't find a job. "The System" is ready to re-assimilate you into The Matrix help you!

As you will see, The System is working around the clock to make you a productive member of society once again. Need to go out looking for a job? We're slashing subway fares to make it easier for you to do so, at 3 o'clock in the morning. Need some help tracking down the right position? We're making a Match.com for employment, to put the unparalleled success of online dating at landing you your dream date to work landing you your dream job! And if you do find that dream job—defined as "A $13 per hour gig at an Indiana trucking company"—you can be sure that 500 others will be right there with you to apply for the same position, to ensure you get to test yourself against the very best.

We will also enable you to stay in your below-market-rate apartment a bit longer.

Verily, The System is lining everything up in your favor. It's time to do your part. It cou